Psychologist Erik Erikson discussed the stages of psychosocial development that each person goes through. At each stage, specific needs must be met. If those needs aren’t met, a person gets psychologically ‘stuck’ or arrested in that stage. According to Erikson, unresolved developmental tasks leave a life-long residue of emotional immaturity.

As a result, many people’s mental and emotional age doesn’t match their chronological age. As adults, they still have traits and responses characteristic of an earlier stage of development. Development can be arrested cognitively, emotionally, and behaviorally.1

Arrested emotional development occurs when a person is immature in expressing and handling their emotions. It’s when adults are physically adults, but emotionally they are no better than children. For example, throwing tantrums is typical childish behavior, and adults who do it are seen as immature.

What causes it?

Mainly early childhood trauma. Children need love, trust, and emotional safety to proceed to subsequent stages of psychosocial development. When those needs are unmet because of emotional neglect or abuse, they feel unsafe, enter survival mode, and their development gets arrested.2 They develop emotional responses that help them cope with the trauma, but later in life, those same responses make them insecure and emotionally stunted.

Emotional intelligence is essential for success in all areas of life, especially relationships. When you can’t healthily deal with your emotions, you suffer in numerous ways. When you are emotionally intelligent, the quality of your life, especially your social interactions, increases significantly.3

If you think you have arrested emotional development, I suggest noticing situations and contexts in which you get triggered, and your inner wounded child emerges- situations that make you behave irrationally and childishly.

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